This Dance We Do
by leebug1219
Summary: Hollis knows that the relationship is ending- yet she is still upset about. Jethro knows that its his fault, but can't bring himself to care. Jenny wishes that things could be different. Inspired by Slow Dancing in a Burning room- Mibbs angst, impl. Jibbs


**AN:** I do not own NCIS or the song that inspired my writing: John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room. While the song inspired this, it is not a song fic. It is the thoughts of Col. Mann, Gibbs, and Jenny- about their relationships and feelings towards one another. I think you all for reading… And I really like reviews- they make me feel all warm and gooey inside.

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The first part is Col. Mann, second Gibbs, and third Jenny.

A blind man could have seen the end coming. And the funny thing was, even though I knew it was coming, I was still pissed. I was pissed at myself for not seeing it. I was pissed at myself for letting myself become involved with such a stubborn, defiant man. I thought we had weathered the storm. I thought I was understanding when I found out that Jethro had once had a family- but decided not to let me in on that little secret. I had been shocked silent when I found out, but I think the most infuriating thing was he acted like I had no right to know; that dating for six months did not mean I was privy to such personal information. But alas, while my not knowing and then finding out about his family was definitely a hurricane level storm, that funnily enough wasn't what was holding him back. I mean, yeah, it had a leash on his feelings, but that leash was miles long compared to the major road block in our relationship-her. The almighty, RED HEADED director of NCIS, Jenny Shepard. It was another one of those trivial, emotional things that he refused to talk about. And even though he wouldn't answer my questions about their past, you could see it in his face- and her face- and all the fleeting glances that they would throw each other when they thought no one could see. They had history. And I am not 100% certain that the history was buried in the past.

Somedays, I wish I wasn't such an ass- that the second B didn't stand for bastard. It was wrong to start the relationship, but a man has needs, and she was more than willing to provide them. I tried to pretend I was the man she wanted. I tried to open up. Okay, so that last one was a lie. I couldn't be the man that she wanted me to be. Everytime we had sex, I would flash back to another time, another woman. When I held her afterwards, I would imagine red hair. I didn't want to hurt her, but she couldn't be the one I wanted. For a while, I would see Shannon in whatever woman I was with. And then Jenny came along. She eased the throbbing in my heart. And then, she left too. But she left her imprint. I only had half a heart when I met Jenny- and then she came in and took it too. I am a heartless bastard- I get it... When she walked back into my life, I thought I might have a chance that I was going to get my heart back. But she said no off the job. And since she makes the rules, I only have my memories.

I let you go long ago- or so I thought. I had a plan. It was a plan where no one could stand in my way, and when you and I became so close- I ran. Because that is what I do. I was scared of you- and the feelings you invoked. When I was with you, it felt like time stopped, and I didn't have a care in the world. And that just wouldn't do. When I got the call about director I had just one question- is Agent Gibbs still in DC? I thought the answer would suffocate me. How was I supposed to just waltz back into your life? Would you hate me? Would I still love you? The day came, and I could feel my heart beat speed up when I turned around. Those feelings that had been so dormant awoke with a fury. But I couldn't have those feelings. So I did the one thing I did best- I turned on the ice factor. It was the one coping mechanism I had perfected over the years. I had to be a bitch. I knew it would piss you off and I could deal with anger over love. I thought if I kept you at arms length everything would be okay- except she came into your life. She was so different then what I was used to seeing you with. My heart jumped into my throat every time I saw you with her. I wanted you back, except it wouldn't work. And even though I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone else too either. We perfected our dance over the years. And even though you were with her, it was like you weren't. I could see it in your eyes- the passion that you and I once had wasn't there with her. And as bad as it sounds, it warmed my heart a little. I knew that if that passion wasn't there, then she wouldn't last. And maybe, just maybe I would be able to "fix" us at some point. But until then, I would continue the dance.


End file.
